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Getting engaged is probably among the best, exciting highlights of your adult life. It is the mutual promise of a couple of their intention to marry. The sound of wedding bells will surely follow in a few months' time. But before we fast forward to the day when your civil status is no longer “single”, let’s get back to the time when you’re pondering if you’ll be making the right decision to enter the “waiting room” before marriage.
Many of the changes that will happen in your life once you get engaged will be mixed. Fortunately, most of them will be positive. However, there will also be pressure and anxiety.
The fear of the unknown can be somewhat nerve-wracking. You have nothing to worry about, though, as this article will help you ease your mind. Before offering that gorgeous engagement ring,ask yourself these 5 questions.
Are you ready?
This may be a silly question but some couples get so excited about their situation that they often miss the reasons why they want to be engaged in the first place. You may have the right intentions but there may be other things that also need to be discussed. Firstly, before you even start thinking about purchasing your diamond, ask yourself the reasons why you really want to get engaged with this person.
One of the main reasons that you need to talk about before pursuing to get engaged is your readiness as a couple. Are you ready to embark on a new journey at the next level? You are now bringing your relationship to new heights. You are now at the bus stop for marriage. What does this mean to both of you? This is the decision that will affect both of your lives. Are you doing this for the right reasons?
Marriage, the next step right after an engagement is not always filled with blissful moments. There will be a lot of planning and discussions involved like having kids and how to raise them, changing careers, or opening a joint account. Think about the exciting and maybe less exciting stuff. Do you and your partner have the same plans and ambitions?
This is not a question about trivial stuff. This is about the compatibility of each other’s plans. You have to discern if your hopes, ambitions, and dreams about the future are similar. Of course, they do not necessarily have to be exactly the same. Your plans should be at least able to coexist with that of your partner’s.
There will always be things that you want to change about your partner. However, it is better to accept him/her for who they are than forcibly change the things you don’t want. There is no perfect person. Like diamonds, everyone has flaws regardless how special they are. You just have to accept your partner for who they are as well as their strengths and weaknesses. Are you ready to do that?
You may be feeling the greatest of feelings whenever your partner is around. You can even be happier when your partner has achieved something that you’re proud of. That itself is a testament of your feelings, support, and love. And that’s great.
Now think about the limitations both of you have. Do you accept the weaknesses and flaws your partner has? If you believe that your partner is flawed but special, then you’re on the right track.
On the other hand, you also have to ask, “ Does your partner accept your strengths as well as your limitations?”
Marriage is not all about how deep your love is for each other. It is not about romance and cuddling while watching the stars. There will be situations that are mundane but you need to deal with - together.
Some situations a couple face may be trivial but can be the cause of why some relationships turn sour. You have to ask yourself, do you as a couple talk about how you will face the “true” problems in life together? Do you both understand that either of you will be changing your kid’s diaper at 2 am?
Roles may be interchanged. There will be times when one’s effort needs to be ramped up more than the other. Oftentimes, teamwork is needed to solve the problem. Are you ready for that?
Nothing stops when you get married. Life still goes on. It is likely that both of you still have personal dreams you want to pursue. One may be in pursuit to climb higher the career ladder. The other may want to stay at home, tend the kids, and grow a garden. Do both of you respect each other’s plans? Will you happily support your partner despite the differences?
Take a moment to ponder the answers to the questions listed above. If you’re not ready, we’re not telling you to change your mind and run. The keyword here is preparation. You may need to do a little work and understand the dynamics of the relationship you have. Talk to your partner. Compromise if necessary. The earlier you talk about these things, the easier your transition to married life will be. Now get that engagement ring ready.